Tamiasciurus

For those of you wondering where I've been the last week, my grandmother died this past Sunday. The funeral was Thursday.

I'm taking the whole thing rather well, all things considered. These last two years weren't nice to my grandmother, as she was diagnosed with multiple myeloma not too long before she met my husband for the first time. Multiple myeloma, for those who don't know what it is, is cancer of the plasma cells, and rarely does someone diagnosed with the disease live more than two years past the diagnosis date.

I guess the strange thing is that I'm not really sad about the whole thing, at least, not in the traditional 'weeping my eyes out because my grandmother is dead and gone' sense. I mean, I'm sad that I'll not get to see my grandmother again until I die. I'll miss her terribly, and have since she passed. But I wouldn't wish her back; not the way she was when she died, anyway.

If I could have my grandma from five years ago back, the one that cooked like a fiend and went walking for two miles every day and did water aerobics and drove to see everything her grandchildren ever did... if I could have that grandmother back, I would wish with all my heart.

As it is, I'm glad that my grandmother is free of pain, and is with her Lord as well as her husband and family that passed before her.

But I'll miss you, Grandma Jane. Love you so much. And always will.